Meet Athena - An Inspirational Young Lady

Every now and then in life, we meet people who amaze us. Sometimes we are in awe of their strength, courage and sheer determination.

One person we are lucky enough to know within the world of facial pain, is a very inspirational young lady called Karla Gudgeon,  or Athena, to her friends.

In her own words, here is Athena's story…..

Hi everyone,

My name is Karla Gudgeon, though my friends call me Athena. I am 22 and have had atypical and typical trigeminal neuralgia for nearly five years now. I also have recently been diagnosed with muscular pain on the left hand side (due to eating and using my jaw lopsided for so long) and allodynia, or hypersensitivity. The latter means that even a tear or a brush of wind on the affected area can trigger immense pain.

I am a student at Lancaster University in England - this means the world to me as, for the first two years after I gained the TN, I couldn't do much and had to defer my university place. Many of my hobbies were very active - archery, sword fighting and dancing to name a few, which obviously became more painful and less feasible to do when the pain level was high. 

After six months of moping around I discovered something I could do - card making. This hobby really took my mind off the pain and allowed me to do something worthwhile.

I work for a charity called the World Owl Trust in Cumbria, England as a volunteer and I started selling the cards to raise money for them. This quickly escalated into a bit of a cottage industry making not just cards, but notelets, bookmarks, magnets, coasters, pens and lots of other merchandise.

Over time this has raised thousands of pounds for the charity and made me feel that I wasn't letting trigeminal neuralgia ruin my life - in other words I could still do something worthwhile.

I used to do regular craft fairs where I had a stall selling all my merchandise and raising awareness. The vintage themed fairs were especially fun!

After two years I managed to get back to university and have thoroughly enjoyed it, although I must admit the pain has made things extremely difficult. My friends have been wonderful though, recording lectures I could not attend and helping me get around campus in my wheelchair when needed (I also have the medical condition Ehlers Danlos Type 3, or hypermobility syndrome.)They have been remarkably adaptable at coping when the pain level is so high it sends me unconscious, a distinctly irritating and debilitating survival mechanism which has caused a fair few separate injuries not to mention the loss of my driving license.

My TN is unusual in that it seemed to be caused by trauma, not the usual blood vessel being too near the nerve. When I was 18 I had an operation called a lower jaw osteotomy, which aimed to bring my lower jaw forward so my teeth could meet up and I could bite properly (I really struggled to eat before.) I was assured that no-one had ever regretted the operation and there was a one in a million chance of other side effects besides numbness to the lips. Unfortunately, I turned out to be that one in a million - well someone has to be I guess. Either way, possibly due to the Ehlers Danlos, the left hand side of my jaw failed to heal properly and to this day bleeds and bruises sporadically which, as you can guess, annoys the neuralgia no end. My neuralgia centres quite low down on my face, in the centre of my cheek and radiates out in a sort of star shaped pattern when the lightning bolt pains come. I'm sure many of you know exactly what I mean! The atypical pain is constant, 24/7 and usually takes the form of a very sharp ache. 

When I discovered the charity The Facial Pain Research Foundation I decided to combine my hobby and my problems. I will be making cards and other merchandise for the Foundation to sell and raise funds which will hopefully help us conquer this terrible condition.

Another TN sufferer, Jordan Riggs, has kindly allowed me to use some of her beautiful photographs for new designs and I have managed to receive permission from an excellent storm photographer to make lightning themed merchandise (very appropriate I'm sure you will agree!) I hope to sell some of these products online by the end of the summer via ebay and/or etsy - look out for them - all profits will go to the FPRF. 

On another positive note, against all odds, I have now finished my degree and have attained a first (despite my appalling attendance) which was a great shock! It hasn't sunk in yet. I am now going to have a year off to recover as the degree has left me pretty exhausted. I also may have to have some sort of operation to control the TN pain. I am going to see a doctor in London and I am hoping she may be able to give me some advice! I am a bit more hopeful than I have been anyway. I am also currently undergoing physio to help the muscular aspect and the allodynia. It's painful in the short term but will hopefully help in the long run. Then I will see what I am left with! I had a wonderful graduation last Friday.

I am also doing a sponsored abseil (a slightly strange graduation present from my father) for the Facial Pain Research Foundation to try and raise more money to find a cure. We have reached over £200 already! I hope the pain is low enough to do the abseil some time in August. It would have been Monday 21st July but I sort of sprained by wrist last week so it has been delayed a bit! If you wish to sponsor me you can contact the FPRF directly at their website  or donate direct to the FPRF with paypal via ebay.com here. You can also use my gofundme page gofundme page but be aware there are some fees involved (to the charity not you) on that, whereas there aren't on the other two options.

Together lets try and combat this terrible disease!!

Good luck to all of you and best wishes always. 

Athena

Congratulations Athena.

Hope you can enjoy a less painful year out of your studies.

Thank you so much for your fundraising efforts and for letting us share your story.

It's A Pain In The Face!

I wake up in the morning, and straight away I feel it and I just think...here we go again, another day with this pain.

From that moment, until I next fall asleep, it’s there.

I am on high doses of meds to try to keep the worst at bay. They help, though some days it doesn’t seem like it. My pain is there every day. Every single day.

Sometimes it’s there in a niggling kind of way. Burning or a bit achy or tingling. There....but I can try to forget. Not completely forget it. I can never do that. But I can live round about it, just being careful about what I eat and drink, careful about what I do so I don’t antagonize it.

But sometimes it’s there in a way I can’t forget it’s there. Feels like a knife is ripping up between my teeth, my teeth being pulled and twisted. My eye hurts....sometimes just aching, or pain in the corner, other times as though there are knitting needles being stabbed in it. My forehead and cheekbone feel so painful as if I have just banged against something. As if there is a huge bruise and I am pressing on it. Sometimes my head feels like it is being squashed. And every now and then, the pains will just surge. Sometimes the pain just suddenly comes out of nowhere, for no reason. 

Sometimes it feels too painful to breathe. Breathe in through my nose, and it's as though the air shoots right up my nose and slices through my head. Breathe in through my mouth, and the air hits my teeth.

I can get pain in my teeth, as though I have just put a live electric cable into my mouth. It’s as though it just sizzles all the way down every tooth to my chin, then along my jaw.  Thankfully, the Tegretol has controlled that type of pain to a degree.

I have no choice, but live with it. I try to make the best of a bad situation, but some days are definitely harder to deal with than others.

Smiling hurts....but I do it. Laughing hurts....but I do it. I try to enjoy doing what I can, rather than cry about what I can’t. So I can’t eat ice-cream or spare ribs, but I’m not going to cry about those things. I know there are things I can eat. And on the really bad days, I just thank my lucky stars that I have a caring husband who makes me something to eat, and says, ‘You need to eat....I know it hurts, but you really need to eat.‘

Every day of my life revolves around my pain. I have other pain too, not just TN. Although there is nothing just about TN.

But what can I do?

Sit and cry all day, or try to make the best of a bad job?

I try to choose the second option.

E.Sirrell

Would you like your story on the End TN blog?

If you live with TN or another form of facial pain, or if you are friend, relative or carer of someone with TN and you would be interested in sharing your story with others, please send us a private message on our Facebook page www.facebook.com/endTrigeminalNeuralgia 

Trying To Stay Positive

I have had this condition for 13 years. I will not say I suffer from it.

They could have told me I had terminal cancer, and that would be far worse. This is not going to kill me.

I love life, my husband, my daughter, my beautiful grandchildren. I make the most of remissions and will not allow TN to take over my life. When it rages, I never think , why me, because I must have been picked out of the masses to make me a stronger person. I must admit that I do not fancy getting older, I am 62 now, and cannot imagine being this way forever, but as none of us know how long forever is, you might just as well get on with it.

I think it's really important to keep stress levels down, and problems follow me around but I find a positive attitude and never letting it take hold of my life make me feel more in control. 

Written by a very positive lady living with Trigeminal Neuralgia


 

Puzzle

Gilly Cannon writes a blog called Brainstorm. She started writing her blog when her husband developed Trigeminal Neuralgia in 2011. As we have said before, Trigeminal Neuralgia affects the whole family, not just the person who actually has the condition. The following is a post which she made in September, 2012 and it ties in perfectly with the puzzle picture which we put out on our Awareness Page today.

The Jigsaw Puzzle Of Life

There is nothing like sudden or unpredictable illness to throw you off kilter. In the tightly packed, fast paced lives we lead, there is little room for a throat infection, a virus, a broken limb or something more sinister. And yet when it happens, with no choice but to accommodate it, you make room for that illness in your lives and adapt.

It could be your own illness, your spouse's, your child's or your parent's. Each affects your daily and weekly plans  differently. But each impacts and squeezes your carefully arranged puzzle piece life where everything just about  fits together perfectly (on a good day!). Whether it is staying home from work to nurse your child through an ear infection,adding in a visit to your aging parent every day in a nursing home or accompanying your spouse to endless doctor's visits and treatments. Somehow your bit piece life expands to allow these extra parts to fit in.

What happens when the jigsaw pieces have been thrown in the air and some land upside down or on the floor ?

What happens when a piece is broken or lost forever?

How do you begin to piece the picture back together? Repair the broken pieces, substitute the missing ones? 

How do you live with the uncertainty that you may never complete the puzzle as you know it again and rearrange the puzzle into a new picture?

How do you find the energy to pick up the pieces, examine them again and start over?

Trigeminal neuralgia forced us to rearrange our puzzle. As I described it back in  November last year in Brainstorming-Fri Nov 4 2011)

Nerve pain is a challenging opponent. Trigeminal nerve pain has an armory of weapons and is difficult to fight. it has unpredictability,suprise,increasing intensity and immunity to medication on its side. It shows no mercy,bombards for hours with electric, stabbing like pains and demands attention day and night. it tortures its victim for months and his loved ones who feel helpless and lacking any weapons with which to fight.

A year on thanks to the success of brain surgery, Jonny has NO electric pain but we recognise that we will always live with the shadow of some head and face aches that come and go unannounced. They are well controlled with medication, but anticipation and unpredictability inevitable alters our life puzzle and sometimes leaves us picking the pieces off the floor and trying to make them fit back in.

As the caregiver my life jolts back and forth like driving a car with the brakes on and my response has evolved in the following ways.

1. Long term planning
We are finding our way back into making long term plans. It has been a while since we have made them and there is a volatility about living with facial pain that we are learning to manage and adapt to. So in the meantime I ask my friends on the spur of the moment to come for lunch, go for a walk, watch a movie, have a cup of tea and they have generously learned to be spontaneous with me.

Brookside Gardens

2. Finding pleasure in nature
I walk in beautiful gardens (Brookside Gardens is a favorite.) I plant flowers, lots of them, everywhere.Their life force, beauty and color and pattern lift up my soul and remind me  of birth, growth and resilience  in this uncertain world. (You may enjoy reading  Rabbit Wars and Among The Weeds)

3.Taking Care of myself
I take deep, slow, rejuvenating  breaths, that calm and soothe. 

4.Having excellent access to the medical specialists
I have the name of the neurologist on speed dial. I text him and he calls us back. He cares that our life's jigsaw should not be so interrupted and provides encouragement and solutions that shape and mold the puzzle pieces back into place.

5.Finding Comfort in prayer
I pray, hard, often, with others and by myself. I talk to G-d and whoever guides me. I ask for help and insight and courage and wisdom and sometimes when I am listening carefully an answer comes to me as a whisper in my heart.

Gilly

If you would like to read more from Gilly's blog, you can find it here www.gillycannon.blogspot.com

If you are a carer for someone with Trigeminal Neuralgia, or another horrible condition, how do you cope? If you would like to leave a comment below, please do. Or you can contact us at our Awareness Page on Facebook.

A thief in the night….

There is a thief that came in the very dark hours of the night. He came under my door as a black vapor I was sleeping so peacefully, so happy. He entered in the air I breathed. As I slept he went to work. He snaked through, tearing veins here and nerves there. My brain became his playground. Oh how he enjoyed it, the damage of it. Oh how he laughed when he saw the unforgiving pain he gave me. Then he moved to my emotions those where his favorite seeing how close he could push me until taking my own life. When they came to catch him they thought he had left. However he was still hiding very deep inside waiting to come out again and cause mischief. He stole my life; he stole my family, friends and my job. He stole how I enjoyed the wind on my face or an ice cold glass of tea on a hot summer day. He stole the feel of the human kiss and the caress of my face. Sleep is my only release, there I can have the life I once had...there is no pain there but in that sleep I know he may be waiting, waiting to come out and play. Then he smiles as I am awake and the pain begins all again

By Lori Bowen