Meet Athena - An Inspirational Young Lady

Every now and then in life, we meet people who amaze us. Sometimes we are in awe of their strength, courage and sheer determination.

One person we are lucky enough to know within the world of facial pain, is a very inspirational young lady called Karla Gudgeon,  or Athena, to her friends.

In her own words, here is Athena's story…..

Hi everyone,

My name is Karla Gudgeon, though my friends call me Athena. I am 22 and have had atypical and typical trigeminal neuralgia for nearly five years now. I also have recently been diagnosed with muscular pain on the left hand side (due to eating and using my jaw lopsided for so long) and allodynia, or hypersensitivity. The latter means that even a tear or a brush of wind on the affected area can trigger immense pain.

I am a student at Lancaster University in England - this means the world to me as, for the first two years after I gained the TN, I couldn't do much and had to defer my university place. Many of my hobbies were very active - archery, sword fighting and dancing to name a few, which obviously became more painful and less feasible to do when the pain level was high. 

After six months of moping around I discovered something I could do - card making. This hobby really took my mind off the pain and allowed me to do something worthwhile.

I work for a charity called the World Owl Trust in Cumbria, England as a volunteer and I started selling the cards to raise money for them. This quickly escalated into a bit of a cottage industry making not just cards, but notelets, bookmarks, magnets, coasters, pens and lots of other merchandise.

Over time this has raised thousands of pounds for the charity and made me feel that I wasn't letting trigeminal neuralgia ruin my life - in other words I could still do something worthwhile.

I used to do regular craft fairs where I had a stall selling all my merchandise and raising awareness. The vintage themed fairs were especially fun!

After two years I managed to get back to university and have thoroughly enjoyed it, although I must admit the pain has made things extremely difficult. My friends have been wonderful though, recording lectures I could not attend and helping me get around campus in my wheelchair when needed (I also have the medical condition Ehlers Danlos Type 3, or hypermobility syndrome.)They have been remarkably adaptable at coping when the pain level is so high it sends me unconscious, a distinctly irritating and debilitating survival mechanism which has caused a fair few separate injuries not to mention the loss of my driving license.

My TN is unusual in that it seemed to be caused by trauma, not the usual blood vessel being too near the nerve. When I was 18 I had an operation called a lower jaw osteotomy, which aimed to bring my lower jaw forward so my teeth could meet up and I could bite properly (I really struggled to eat before.) I was assured that no-one had ever regretted the operation and there was a one in a million chance of other side effects besides numbness to the lips. Unfortunately, I turned out to be that one in a million - well someone has to be I guess. Either way, possibly due to the Ehlers Danlos, the left hand side of my jaw failed to heal properly and to this day bleeds and bruises sporadically which, as you can guess, annoys the neuralgia no end. My neuralgia centres quite low down on my face, in the centre of my cheek and radiates out in a sort of star shaped pattern when the lightning bolt pains come. I'm sure many of you know exactly what I mean! The atypical pain is constant, 24/7 and usually takes the form of a very sharp ache. 

When I discovered the charity The Facial Pain Research Foundation I decided to combine my hobby and my problems. I will be making cards and other merchandise for the Foundation to sell and raise funds which will hopefully help us conquer this terrible condition.

Another TN sufferer, Jordan Riggs, has kindly allowed me to use some of her beautiful photographs for new designs and I have managed to receive permission from an excellent storm photographer to make lightning themed merchandise (very appropriate I'm sure you will agree!) I hope to sell some of these products online by the end of the summer via ebay and/or etsy - look out for them - all profits will go to the FPRF. 

On another positive note, against all odds, I have now finished my degree and have attained a first (despite my appalling attendance) which was a great shock! It hasn't sunk in yet. I am now going to have a year off to recover as the degree has left me pretty exhausted. I also may have to have some sort of operation to control the TN pain. I am going to see a doctor in London and I am hoping she may be able to give me some advice! I am a bit more hopeful than I have been anyway. I am also currently undergoing physio to help the muscular aspect and the allodynia. It's painful in the short term but will hopefully help in the long run. Then I will see what I am left with! I had a wonderful graduation last Friday.

I am also doing a sponsored abseil (a slightly strange graduation present from my father) for the Facial Pain Research Foundation to try and raise more money to find a cure. We have reached over £200 already! I hope the pain is low enough to do the abseil some time in August. It would have been Monday 21st July but I sort of sprained by wrist last week so it has been delayed a bit! If you wish to sponsor me you can contact the FPRF directly at their website  or donate direct to the FPRF with paypal via ebay.com here. You can also use my gofundme page gofundme page but be aware there are some fees involved (to the charity not you) on that, whereas there aren't on the other two options.

Together lets try and combat this terrible disease!!

Good luck to all of you and best wishes always. 

Athena

Congratulations Athena.

Hope you can enjoy a less painful year out of your studies.

Thank you so much for your fundraising efforts and for letting us share your story.

Trigeminal Neuralgia : Explain The Pain

If you read our last blog post, you will have seen that a physical injury caused Shelley to suffer from permanent facial pain. When the bruising was there, everyone could see her pain. But when the bruises went away, Shelley had nothing to show for her pain, in other words, she had an invisible condition.

This is what TN sufferers are up against all the time. There is nothing to show for their pain. Many non-sufferers  can’t understand it because they can't see it. How can we have so much pain, but not a mark to  show for it? People sometimes doubt the pain. People think sufferers are possibly exaggerating how much pain they deal with, possibly looking for attention, or possibly even just lazy! 

People are sometimes judged on how much medication they use. They are even sometimes accused of being drug addicts.

Even doctors (the very people we rely on to help us) sometimes doubt their patients. Some doctors will not give adequate medication to help. When a desperate patient goes to Emergency because they are in so much pain, some doctors haven't even got a clue what Trigeminal Neuralgia is. They don't know what they can do to help, and often turn patients away suspecting they are drug seekers. 

Some pharmacists have also been known to turn people away without filling their prescription because they suspect the person is either a drug addict or selling their meds. Does a pharmacist have the right to question a legitimate prescription written by a legitimate doctor for a legitimate patient? Apparently, they seem to think they do.

There is a huge lack of understanding for many people suffering from not just Trigeminal Neuralgia, but many other forms of chronic pain too.

People often suffer in silence because the feel nobody listens or believes them.

This is why we NEED awareness about Trigeminal Neuralgia. We NEED people to believe us. We NEED people to at least try to understand.

So how can we do that? How can we explain the unexplainable?

How can we make people hear those two words Trigeminal Neuralgia and immediately understand what a person is dealing with?

For a start, we need to describe the pain, perhaps using graphic descriptions, so that people will understand. It can be done. After all, we don't have to break a leg to understand how painful a broken bone can be. 

The following are some quotes from some facial pain sufferers on how they describe their pain.

• I sometimes feel like there is a sharp knife between my teeth slicing through my gum and right up my cheek. My cheekbone feels like it should have a huge bruise on it. For a long time, I was forever checking in the mirror because I was sure there must be a bruise there. Sometimes my pain builds up and builds up until it feels like my face and head will burst from the pressure. It is as if my head is in a vice, which is being turned tighter and tighter.

• Feels like a hot ice pick stabbing my eye. It is like I am being tazed inside my mouth. I get sharp stabbing pains. Sometimes achy/bruised feeling and an itchy gum. 

• When it feels swollen and painful it feels like I have been hit with a baseball bat. And the electric stabs I refer to as "zingers" stabbing in my eye are continuous, like it is being stabbed, pulled out and stabbed again, etc. And I get a vice gripping pain behind my ear.

• Mine is the burn of a blowtorch on my cheek and around my eye, after it has been scraped raw by a straight razor. Then at times the knife stabbing above and below my eye, trying to gouge my eye out. Also suffer from the pain when eating. Just one bite of a salad that I have already taken the chill off, from putting it in the microwave, and shooting pain from my teeth through my head.

• Imagine you have an abscess under one tooth. Now imagine that you crack the one next to it, right down to the roots. And then some idiot hammers a nail through them both. Now multiply that by every tooth on that side of your jaw. And sometimes both upper and lower jaw, and round your eye socket. Occasionally on both sides. The pain comes and goes, in waves, lasting long hard minutes at a time, up to 100 or more times every day. For years. 

• On the TN side of my face, I am densely numb. My tongue, lips and teeth, the area around my eye, eyelids and eyeball are all numb to the touch, as is the area of my upper lip and out from it around and to my chin. These areas burn like a 3rd degree burn all the time. When I blink my eyelid feels pinched. My cheek and forehead aches deep inside. My teeth on top are numb but feel like they are being pushed on all the time. Reminds me of the way my teeth would hurt for a few days after my braces were tightened as a child. I get stabbing pains across my temple area and into my eye and forehead that feels like a knife being hammered in over and over several times a day, and constantly some days. Percocet helps that usually but only takes the edge off the pain. Makes it bearable. My head aches like it is being tightened in a vice from the base of my skull up and across my forehead. I can feel my heart beats as pain in my head and it feels hot. Sometimes my scalp feels like it is being peeled off exposing all the nerves to the air. Touching any place around my mouth feels like touching a raw nerve. I get stabbing pains from the top of my forehead into my area so bad I flinch and squeeze my eye shut. My eye waters all the time. This is my every day existence. This is my life.

• Right now my eyeball is burning and feels like I'm giving birth through it! Plus my jaw is freezing cold, which is often how I feel pain. Stabbing, burning, slicing and aching are all words I'm very familiar with. I also sometimes get a sensation of cramping and my face feels like it gets locked.

• My teeth are my main issue. A constant ache and throbbing with tremendous pressure and sharp stabbing pains. Trying to eat is agonizing.

• Sometimes it just plain hurts so bad you cannot tell what part is affected and what is not, it just goes on and on until it all hurts. I told my daughter last night, that it seemed like I had broken all the bones in my tongue.

• I have just been diagnosed with TN. Had a tooth removed last week cos I thought I had toothache. It's a constant throbbing, piercing, stabbing pain behind my eye, ear and jaw/neck.
• My face constantly feels some level of burning, sometimes the heat is on low, other times it is like a blow torch on high, welding my skin to the bone.  There is a vice grip-like pressure constantly loosening and tightening at random, but always present.  My scalp feels like needles are poking me, and it feels like the corner of my eye and the corner of my lip are being pulled back.  When the pain flares up, it feels like someone is jabbing an ice pick in my ear, and like there is an electrical storm in my teeth and gums, striking frequently yet randomly and the level of pain is blinding.  At my worst, I cannot speak, I cannot walk, I can hardly move at all.  The most painful episodes happen at random; you never know when it might strike.  If a slight breeze hits my face, or a cool air contacts my face; talking, chewing, brushing my teeth, leaning forward…or sometimes doing nothing at all, an intense pain ensues.  This pain is debilitating, at best, and at worst, it destroys my quality of life. 

'Broken Mind' by Magdalena Esmailzadeh

This painting has been used with kind permission from the artist
Magdalena Esmailzadeh

To see more of her work, please visit  http://medeasafir.deviantart.com

Sometimes people don’t explain their pain because they think non-sufferers will not understand anyway.....but they never will understand if we don’t try to explain it.

Sometimes people feel it takes too much energy and gives too much pain trying to talk about it to explain. If that’s the case, print off some information so you can easily pass it on. We have printable information files on our awareness page. 

• What is TN? Information poster

• Pain attack and Info cards

As sufferers, we are the only people who can really make people understand.

We need to make people listen to us.

Fire, by Allison Ramirez

There is a fire burning inside of me

A fire that no one else can see

An ornery persistent smouldering burn

Takes away the peace for which I yearn

There is a fire burning inside of me

A fire no one else can see

Burns through me in every way

Burns through each and every day

This fire that burns inside of me

This fire that only I can see

It sets my nerves aflame

Leaves me moaning in pain

This fire that burns inside of me

This fire that only I can see

What chaos this burn does foment

It makes my life a living torment

This burning flame inside of me

This burning no one else can see

Turns my pain into passion

To beat this pain into submission

There is a fire inside of me

A fire that shines so you can see

This burning pain has had to fashion

A life of strength and compassion

This fire that burns inside of me

This fire that I hope you can see

From tears and pain like lashes

Like a phoenix I rise from the ashes

Clothed in the fire that burns inside of me

Burning so everyone can see

Is a person nurtured and forged in pain

Transformed into something new again

There is a fire burning inside of me

A fire that burns for all to see

A fire that burns away the pain

A fire that gives me my life again

A fire of strength and compassion

A fire for life, love, and passion

Allison Ramirez

03/09/2014

It's A Pain In The Face!

I wake up in the morning, and straight away I feel it and I just think...here we go again, another day with this pain.

From that moment, until I next fall asleep, it’s there.

I am on high doses of meds to try to keep the worst at bay. They help, though some days it doesn’t seem like it. My pain is there every day. Every single day.

Sometimes it’s there in a niggling kind of way. Burning or a bit achy or tingling. There....but I can try to forget. Not completely forget it. I can never do that. But I can live round about it, just being careful about what I eat and drink, careful about what I do so I don’t antagonize it.

But sometimes it’s there in a way I can’t forget it’s there. Feels like a knife is ripping up between my teeth, my teeth being pulled and twisted. My eye hurts....sometimes just aching, or pain in the corner, other times as though there are knitting needles being stabbed in it. My forehead and cheekbone feel so painful as if I have just banged against something. As if there is a huge bruise and I am pressing on it. Sometimes my head feels like it is being squashed. And every now and then, the pains will just surge. Sometimes the pain just suddenly comes out of nowhere, for no reason. 

Sometimes it feels too painful to breathe. Breathe in through my nose, and it's as though the air shoots right up my nose and slices through my head. Breathe in through my mouth, and the air hits my teeth.

I can get pain in my teeth, as though I have just put a live electric cable into my mouth. It’s as though it just sizzles all the way down every tooth to my chin, then along my jaw.  Thankfully, the Tegretol has controlled that type of pain to a degree.

I have no choice, but live with it. I try to make the best of a bad situation, but some days are definitely harder to deal with than others.

Smiling hurts....but I do it. Laughing hurts....but I do it. I try to enjoy doing what I can, rather than cry about what I can’t. So I can’t eat ice-cream or spare ribs, but I’m not going to cry about those things. I know there are things I can eat. And on the really bad days, I just thank my lucky stars that I have a caring husband who makes me something to eat, and says, ‘You need to eat....I know it hurts, but you really need to eat.‘

Every day of my life revolves around my pain. I have other pain too, not just TN. Although there is nothing just about TN.

But what can I do?

Sit and cry all day, or try to make the best of a bad job?

I try to choose the second option.

E.Sirrell

Would you like your story on the End TN blog?

If you live with TN or another form of facial pain, or if you are friend, relative or carer of someone with TN and you would be interested in sharing your story with others, please send us a private message on our Facebook page www.facebook.com/endTrigeminalNeuralgia 

Trying To Stay Positive

I have had this condition for 13 years. I will not say I suffer from it.

They could have told me I had terminal cancer, and that would be far worse. This is not going to kill me.

I love life, my husband, my daughter, my beautiful grandchildren. I make the most of remissions and will not allow TN to take over my life. When it rages, I never think , why me, because I must have been picked out of the masses to make me a stronger person. I must admit that I do not fancy getting older, I am 62 now, and cannot imagine being this way forever, but as none of us know how long forever is, you might just as well get on with it.

I think it's really important to keep stress levels down, and problems follow me around but I find a positive attitude and never letting it take hold of my life make me feel more in control. 

Written by a very positive lady living with Trigeminal Neuralgia


 

What is Trigeminal Neuralgia?

People have a habit of screwing up their faces when you tell them you have Trigeminal Neuralgia. “Tri what?” is the usual question.

It’s quite difficult to explain.

Do you try to tell them in medical terms?

That we have two trigeminal nerves, one for each side of the face.The trigeminal nerve is a paired cranial nerve that has three major branches: the ophthalmic nerve, the maxillary nerve, and the mandibular nerve.

One, two, or all three branches of the nerve may be affected. It can affect one side of your face, and occasionally both sides.

The pain may be felt in the ear, eye, lips, nose, scalp, forehead, cheeks, teeth, or jaw and side of the face.

It can sometimes be caused  by a compression on the nerve, possibly by a blood vessel or artery. Sometimes, there is no known cause.

Then do you add this bit?

Trigeminal Neuralgia is one of the most painful conditions known to mankind and is sometimes referred to as the Suicide Disease.

Or do you try to give a more easy to understand explanation?

It is so important to try to make people understand this pain. Medical explanations might not be understood by everybody. And calling it the suicide disease isn't describing the pain at all. We need understanding, but in order to get that, we need to describe the pain well.

It's All About Awareness!

So here we are - our very first post on our End TN blog. If you have just come across us after searching online about Trigeminal Neuralgia, then we are sorry to meet under these circumstances, but we hope you will find something here to help you. If not help, hopefully we can give you support and hope for a better future. If you already follow our End TN page on Facebook, we hope you will stick with us and follow our blog too. If you haven't seen our Facebook page, it's here.

If you look at the right hand side of this page, you will see some links which will take you directly to our Facebook, Twitter and You Tube pages. There is also a page called "who we are" to let you know a little about us and what are doing at End TN.

When we say End TN, we actually do mean we would like to see an END to Trigeminal Neuralgia, Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia, Trigeminal Facial Pain, Neuropathic Facial Pain, or any other type of Facial Pain. (Sometimes doctors don’t actually know what to call it). All bit of a mouthful, so we’ll just refer to everything as TN or Trigeminal Neuralgia.

The pain can come in several ways....like a bolt of lightning, like an electric shock or it can be grinding, drilling, aching or burning to name just a few descriptions. It can be a one off shock or it can be a constant ache. The pain is sometimes referred to as the suicide disease due to the severity. Everybody’s pain is different and everybody’s reaction to meds, treatments or surgery is different.

But no matter what it is called and no matter how painful it is, there is one fact about TN which everyone hates.

It is totally invisible.

Nobody can see it.

Nobody can see what a horribly painful condition Trigeminal Neuralgia is. To suffer pain like this, you would think at least something should show.

Trigeminal Neuralgia is just one of many Invisible Diseases. But even though it can't be seen, it doesn’t have to be silent.

We need to talk about TN, write about it. Write to magazines, television shows, radio, newspapers. We need to all do we can to help people learn and understand Trigeminal Neuralgia. We need awareness. Awareness amongst non-sufferers and awareness amongst the medical profession.


There are other campaigns on the go just now too, so together, we should hopefully be heard. We need to make sure we are heard!

One of the other groups campaigning has a petition asking the World Health Organization to take action on Trigeminal Neuralgia.  Please sign the petition. Whether you have TN or you know someone with TN, it is important for WHO to realise that so many people want something done about the condition. You can find out more here. They have also organized an international TN awareness day for Oct 7th, organised teal coloured ribbons, and are trying to raise money for the Facial Pain Research Foundation.


So.....as the picture says, “Together we can make that voice louder”

And if we do, hopefully, one day, we might actually see an end to Trigeminal Neuralgia.